well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You're earring is so big in my mouth
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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