I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
