i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize