didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I look better un-naked...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
