So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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