I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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