; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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