just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
