you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just gargled with NyQuil
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
