yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
