Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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