She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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