Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
