There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize