either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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