You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
