all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
