God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
