There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
