You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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