Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
