I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
