Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
