I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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