Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
