I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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