Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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