Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
