Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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