I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
