I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
