Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
