So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
