In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
