i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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