nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
