It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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