Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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