Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
