Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
