Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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