You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
honey bunches of taint.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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