he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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