I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
