It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
