I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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