It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
