I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
