I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
