dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
