apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
