I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
bring money and cleavage
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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