did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
