You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
