"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
