i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
